Little Secrets
by KidChameleon85
Summary: Dan decides to take control of something in his life for once. Why not start with a certain someone he can't stop thinking about? AU starting at the beginning of 4x18. (Discontinued for now)
1. Prologue

_**A/N:** This is the first fanfiction I've ever written. I'd like to thank **Jenye** for kindly being my beta, and for suggesting the title for this story. I hope you all enjoy this, and please feel free to review :)_

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><p>It was with a great deal of trepidation that Dan stepped off the elevator and into the Waldorf penthouse. He had felt so sure of himself upon leaving the loft after he and Eric's conversation, but his confidence vanished upon stepping into the elevator, and he now felt a cold chill running down his spine. He hadn't really considered what might happen if Blair didn't feel the same way he did about their kiss.<p>

As soon as he entered the penthouse Dan was greeted by the sight of a rather frazzled looking Dorota carrying a tray of food. It took her a moment to notice the new arrival. As their eyes met from across the foyer, Dorota's face displayed a combination of alarm and relief.

"Miss Blair not taking visitors right now." Dorota declared as she approached Dan quickly, still holding the tray.

"Can you maybe make an exception for me, Dorota? I really need to talk to her. It's, uh... it's important." Dan said, shifting back and forth on the arches of his feet nervously. He knew if he was to have any shot at talking to Blair about his feelings, he was going to have to convince Dorota first. She shook her head vehemently at him. She had a feeling she knew the reason Blair had locked herself in her room all week. And, while a part of her wanted for Blair to face the truth of why she had been so happy lately, she also knew that Dan Humphrey was probably the last person Blair wanted to see right now.

Dan sighed audibly as he tried desperately to think of an excuse he could give for needing to see Blair. But nothing came to mind. He never was a particularly good liar.

_Why not just level with her?_ he thought to himself.

"Look, Dorota. I know you know about me and Blair sneaking around. She told me how you accused us of having an affair. And, the truth is... you were kinda right. There was something happening between us, but we were too afraid to face it. But then, last week..." He trailed off, not sure how Dorota would react to hearing about the kiss. She had always been quite protective of Blair, and he was a bit nervous she might come after him with a kitchen knife.

Dorota's eyebrows shot up as her suspicions seemed as though they were about to be confirmed. As Dan hesitated, fidgeting nervously, Dorota couldn't help but feel impatient to hear what had happened to drive Blair into her bed for a week. A minute of uncomfortable silence passed between them, with Dan doing his very best to look anywhere but at Dorota's eyes, as he tried to decide how much he should tell her in order to gain access to the upstairs and Blair.

"What? What happen last week with you and Miss Blair?" Dorota demanded as nicely as she possibly could, growing tired of waiting for him to finish his previous sentence. Upon hearing the housekeeper's commanding voice, Dan's eyes finally locked with hers, and he knew there was no way around it. He was going to have to tell her everything.

"We uh... we kinda kissed." Dan said quietly, instantly flinching away, still afraid that she might just attack him for having the audacity to kiss Blair. He knew Dorota had always liked him. But that didn't necessarily mean she'd be alright with him putting the moves on Blair. It felt like hours passed as he could see Dorota processing this new information, but really it was only a few seconds.

"About time." Dorota stated plainly, turning and walking towards the stairs. She stopped momentarily at the bottom of the stairs to look back at Dan, and nod her head in the direction of the stairs, signaling for him to follow. Though he was beyond confused by how calmly Dorota had reacted, he didn't need to be told twice, and immediately followed the housekeeper up the stairs and down the hall. As soon as they reached the door to Blair's bedroom, Dorota stopped and turned to Dan.

"Miss Blair is in her bed all week. She say she ill, but I know better. She is hiding from you." Dorota whispered to Dan, not wanting to alert Blair to their presence yet. She couldn't help but smile a little at the look of surprise that immediately sprang onto Dan's face.

"I do not know how Miss Blair feel about you. But I know this. I have never seen her smile so much before. Not even with Mr. Chuck. You are good man Mr. Dan. And you make Miss Blair happy." She paused for a moment, prepared to set in motion the plan she had devised as soon as she had heard about the kiss.

"Now, you take this." She declared, handing him the tray of food. Before Dan could say anything, Dorota knocked loudly on Blair's door.

Dan looked to the door quickly, as he could hear the faint sound of Blair grumbling sleepily for Dorota to come in. When he looked back to the housekeeper, she was nowhere to be found. He couldn't fight the amused smirk that appeared on his face, realizing she had given him exactly what he had hoped for, and more. After what Dorota had told him about Blair, he felt his confidence come rushing back, and was more than prepared to confront Blair about his feelings. Pausing only for a moment to take in one final deep breath, Dan twisted the knob and stepped into Blair's bedroom. It was a step he had been ready to take for quite some time.


	2. Let This Be Our Little Secret

_**A/N:** Thank you to all who reviewed! I'm so glad you enjoyed the prologue. I hope you enjoy this chapter as well. As always, special thanks go to **Jenye**, my lovely beta. Reviews are always appreciated :)_

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><p>Since Blair still had a mask over her eyes, she failed to notice Dan approaching. Dan stopped about a foot from the bed, pausing to look at Blair. He felt his breath hitch, and his knees go weak, as he took in the sight. It was as if he was seeing her for the first time, and he couldn't for the life of him understand how he hadn't noticed before just how truly beautiful she was. The way her chestnut curls cascaded down her pillow, and over her shoulders. The slow but steady rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. He took in every inch of her, amazed at how delicate she seemed when she didn't have her walls up to keep people from seeing how vulnerable she really was. Then finally, he gazed upon her face. He had always noticed how beautiful her eyes were. That was one thing he never missed. But he hadn't recognized how soft her features were, probably because she was usually glaring at him whenever their eyes had met in the past. It was disarming in a way, seeing her expression look so peaceful. He felt his eyes being drawn to her lips: those exquisite lips that he had kissed for the first time only a week ago and was now finding increasingly difficult to resist. Before he could let his mind wander too far, Dan carefully set the tray of food down on Blair's nightstand, and cleared his throat loud enough to rouse her from her slumber.<p>

"Hmmm?" Blair groaned as she peeled the mask off of her eyes and let it rest on her forehead. She blinked a few times, trying to clear the sleep from her eyes. Once she realized who was standing in front of her, her guard immediately went up.

"Humphrey? What are you doing here?" Blair demanded, the irritation evident in her voice as she sat up quickly. Dan hesitated only for a moment, thinking back to what Dorota had told him.

"We need to talk, Blair." Dan said firmly. He didn't want to sound too aggressive, knowing that would only make Blair more defensive, but he also wanted to make sure she could hear the conviction in his voice.

Blair was taken slightly aback by how determined Dan sounded, as if there was no room for argument. She wasn't used to seeing Dan act this way. He had always been so nervous and unsure of himself, but now it seemed as if he knew exactly what he wanted, and she wasn't sure how to feel.

"So?" Blair swallowed nervously. "You couldn't have just called?" She tried her best to give him a convincing glare, but even she knew it was halfhearted.

"I did call… a week ago. You haven't called me back." Dan said, still sounding rather stern and determined.

Blair was dumbfounded. She tried desperately to think of some kind of an explanation for why she had been ignoring him all week, but found nothing came to mind. There was something about the way Dan was looking into her eyes that was making it impossible for her to find her bearings at the moment, and she couldn't help but wonder when Dan Humphrey had become so talented at making her nervous.

"I… I've been busy." She said unconvincingly, his gaze still peering through her. "You know, my world didn't suddenly start revolving around you just because we kissed!" She blurted out defensively, wanting him to stop staring long enough for her to think straight. A few seconds passed before she realized that Dan hadn't even mentioned the kiss. Dan seized the opportunity she had given him by being the one to broach the subject.

"We need to talk about it Blair." He declared, moving to sit on the edge of her bed. "We kissed. And… whether you want to admit it or not, that means something." He told her, only wavering slightly from the confident attitude he had been displaying. He looked her in the eye again, in that way that made any feeling of certainty Blair might have simply evaporate.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Humphrey. It…" She paused, trying to shake the feeling that was slowly creeping up on her. It wasn't right for her to be feeling this way around him. "It didn't mean anything. It was just a failed experiment. So, if we could just stop thinking about our misbegotten make out and move on…"

Dan's eyebrows shot up. "What do you mean 'stop thinking about', Blair? If it didn't mean anything, then why have you been thinking about it so much?" He asked, clearly having caught on to her mistake.

She sighed audibly.

_Why is he making this so difficult for me?_ She thought as she looked away from him, trying once again to gain some small amount of control over her thoughts.

"I didn't say I was thinking about it. Though you obviously have been." She declared, attempting to deflect back onto him.

"Obviously. Would I be here if I hadn't been?" He said, as if it was the easiest thing in the world to admit.

"Look, just because we kissed doesn't mean it meant something. And, while I'll admit your… abilities are up to par, that doesn't mean I felt anything." She said, looking down at her hands resting in her lap, wanting to avoid his face at all cost. She was hoping he wouldn't recognize the insincerity of the statement.

"Blair." He responded simply, and she could tell right away he wasn't falling for any of it. Why couldn't he just accept what she was telling him? Why did he have to be so damn persistent?

"I don't believe you, Blair." He stated plainly, as if she hadn't already figured that out. "Listen, I know it seems crazy. Having feelings for you was the last thing I would have ever expected."

Her eyes snapped back to his in an instant when she realized what he had said. "What?" was all she could muster.

"You heard me. I have feelings for you, Blair. I have for a while now." Dan hesitated for a moment, trying to read her face. For the first time since they had been talking, he couldn't tell what she was thinking, and it scared the crap out of him. He had just laid it all on the line, and here she was just staring vacantly at him.

"Blair?" He waved his hand in front of her face. "Say something." He insisted.

Blair snapped out of her daze and looked him straight in the eye. "What do you want me to say, Humphrey?" She swallowed hard. "You want me to say that I have feelings for you too? I can't. I-I won't."

Dan sighed in frustration. "Which is it, Blair? Can't? Or Won't? They're not the same thing." Feeling slightly bold, he reached his hand forward and placed it on top of Blair's, needing to be connected to her in some way.

Blair's heart suddenly raced as she felt their skin touch. She looked down to where Dan was gently holding onto her hand, and sighed. But it wasn't like her previous actions. She didn't sound nervous or exasperated. She sounded resigned.

"F-Fine." She lifted her head to look back into his eyes. "I felt something when we kissed… I still feel it." She paused as she saw the corners of Dan's mouth turn up into a smile.

"I've never felt this way before. It's terrifying." She said, still confused by her feelings, but also feeling a great sense of relief after having finally admitted it.

Dan couldn't help the wide grin that was plastered all over his face. "I know what you mean. I…"

Suddenly, Blair pulled her hand out of Dan's and placed it back on her lap. "But that doesn't mean we can do anything about it."

Dan's smile instantly vanished and he stared at Blair, beyond confused. "What? What do you mean we can't…"

"Just because we have feelings for each other doesn't mean we get to act on them!" Blair snapped, not meaning to sound as harsh as she had. She could see the disappointment fill Dan's face as he wasn't sure what to say to that. If she had seen him frown a few months ago, she might have been able to dismiss it. Now though, she felt an ache in her chest from seeing him so upset, and she wondered when his happiness had become so important to her.

"Look, Dan." She said softly, reaching out to take his hand as he had done only a few minutes ago. "It's not that I don't want to explore this. It's just… we can't be selfish here. We have to consider how this could hurt the people we care about. What about Serena? And Chuck?"

"What about them?" Dan practically shouted in frustration. Blair was shocked by his sudden outburst, but still held on tight to Dan's hand. Dan hadn't meant to startle her, and immediately lowered his voice. "Blair… all you and I ever do is worry about everyone else in our lives. Would it be so wrong for us to do something for ourselves for once?"

"I… I don't know." She said quietly. She knew Dan was right. You couldn't find two better friends than them. They were constantly there for the people they loved. And, since becoming friends, they had been there for each other as well. That was something that had caught Blair completely by surprise about her newfound friendship with Dan. He had consistently been there for her, when no one else was. She had let her guard down in front of him multiple times. Instead of throwing it in her face, or trying to take advantage of it, he had simply allowed her to be vulnerable. She definitely was not ready to let something like that slip through her fingers.

"Alright. We can give this… us, a shot." She let out a breath, once again feeling relieved. "But we have to tell everyone."

Dan started to smile, until he heard the last part of what Blair said. He hadn't really thought about it much beforehand, since he hadn't even imagined he'd get this far. But now that he did consider it, he couldn't help but feel like telling everyone was a bad idea. Knowing their friends and family, it would only lead to drama, and could very well put an end to their relationship before it even had a chance to truly begin.

"I don't think we should." He said, moving closer to Blair on the bed. "If we're going to give this a shot, it needs to be a fair one." He reached out with his free hand, and gently took hold of Blair's other hand.

"Meaning what exactly?" Blair looked at him curiously.

"Meaning it need to be just us… just Dan and Blair. No one else." He said softly, running his thumbs over her knuckles. "I don't want anyone getting in the way of this."

"What are you proposing? We sneak around and lie to everyone?" Blair felt doubtful that they could keep something like this secret for very long, but she was willing to try.

Dan couldn't fight the smirk that appeared on his face as he knew she was close to agreeing with him. "Would it really be any different than what we've already been doing the past few months? You didn't seem to have a problem with it then."

Blair sighed, and Dan knew he had her convinced. It wasn't like she would ever actually tell him he was right, but she was letting him know in her own way. A wide grin appeared on Dan's face once more, which made it impossible for Blair to fight her own smile from appearing.

"Well? What do you say, Blair?" Dan asked, needing that final confirmation that they were really going to give them, Dan and Blair, a shot.

"OK… on one condition." Blair said with a mischievous grin on her face.

Dan didn't care what it was. He was willing to do anything to make this happen. "Name it."

Blair stared into his eyes for a moment, but it was different this time. Dan saw something unfamiliar in her eyes, something he had never seen directed at him. Desire. Blair smiled as she lightly tugged on Dan hands, pulling him toward her.

"Kiss me again."


End file.
